


Is It Too Late Now To Say Some Things?

by writershapeholeonthedoor



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Confessions, Declarations Of Love, Doing badass things together, Drama & Romance, Endgame Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, F/F, Falling In Love, Idiots in Love, Kidnapping, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Love, Love Confessions, Protective Kara Danvers, Protective Lena Luthor, Romance, Talking, True Love, badass woman, post 5x18, season five
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:28:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24242062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writershapeholeonthedoor/pseuds/writershapeholeonthedoor
Summary: It's not the right time to say she loves Lena, right? Even if it appears that Lex wasn't lying and they were going to die in a few minutes, it might not be the right moment to do it. Kara is very aware of that. She missed her window, probably. Kicked all of her chances in the garbage years ago.orThey have nowhere else to go and Kara needs to take a few things off her chest.*Post 5x18*
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 29
Kudos: 538





	Is It Too Late Now To Say Some Things?

**Author's Note:**

> Remember English is NOT my first language, be nice, be cool.  
> Follow me on Tumblr, @writershapeholeonthedoor.  
> And tell me if I need to make a follow up to this!  
> A couple of things: It all happens after Lena shows up at Kara's apartment, so it's post 5x18, and everything is canon until the start of this fic. Enjoy!

"If you have anything to say at each other, now would be the time because you won't get another chance."

The click of the door closing filled the room like the sound of a cannon, resonating against the four white dirty walls and dying slowly in the quiet space. Kara sighed, her eyes staring the wall in front of her with enough intensity to open a hole if she actually had her powers to do so. She tested the chains around her arms and wrists, only causing them to jingle and dig into her skin. The heat coming from the back pressed against her was almost suffocating in the closed room – no windows, the metal door completely sealed – and the cold floor where she was sitting at was causing a duality of feelings on her. She was glad she had changed the skirt for pants because the concrete on bare skin would have been way worse.

It's not the right time to say she loves Lena, right? Even if it appears that Lex wasn't lying and they were going to die in a few minutes, it might not be the right moment to do it. Kara is very aware of that. She missed her window, probably. Kicked all of her chances in the garbage years ago.

However, it wasn’t looking like she would have any other chance to do it either, so...

"Lena..." Kara started, the power on her voice scaring even herself when she disturbed the quiet of the dungeon they were locked into.

"No." Sharp, mandatory, and not pleased at all. Definitely not the right moment to say anything.

Still...

"Lena, I-"

Once again, the interruption was fast and precise like a blade. "Absolutely not."

"I just wanted to-" Kara raised her knee up, felt a string of pain run up her spine, then lowered it to the floor with a soft thud.

"We're not having this conversation now,” Lena was much angrier now than she was a second before and it trigged Kara’s own bad feelings.

"Why? Do you have another place to be?" she scoffed and turned her head the best she could to the side.

From the corner of her eyes, all she could see was Lena’s pant legs, black shoes, and a single curl of dark hair that had gone loose when she was throw inside the room and tied up with Kara.

There was a pause, significant and deafening. "... Fuck you."

The heroine chuckled softly while she turned to look back at the wall and nodded. "Right back at you."

There was another silence that followed her sentence and Kara allowed her mind to travel a little bit. She wasn’t exactly sure how she ended up locked up by Lex. She went out to save William after she heard he got kidnapped, then there was this crazy dude and the next thing she remembers is feeling so much pain that she couldn’t stay awake. Then she woke up in that room, tied up and lying on the cold floor. Hours later, Lena joined her while screaming some very bad profanity at the guy who was carrying her. Very colorful words, especially in Kara’s book.

It was a little funny to see her kicking the air while the guy tied her up against Kara, though. She seemed even angrier to see Lex was going to lock them together, although Kara didn’t think they should have expected privacy while in captivity. The best part was Lena spitting on Lex, that’s for sure. Kara wished she could have actually seemed that, but she had her back turned and all she got was to hear it.

Bold move, even if a little stupid. Not that she could be the one to judge because she didn’t tell anyone where she was going and now she was kidnapped and no one would know until probably too late to do anything.

"I already said what I wanted to say," Lena whispered after what felt like hours, her voice shaking a little bit.

"Well, I haven't,” Kara replied, sounding way more alive than she actually felt.

It was time for Lena to scoff behind her and she could almost hear the eye-roll. "You told me to sit down and then called your sister. I think I get what you were saying."

The blonde shrugged. "We needed help to get to Lex."

"Yes, and that was clearly such a great help,” the other woman sneered. “Look where we are now, Kara."

She was kind of sitting on top of her cape and it was tugging at her shoulders quite in an uncomfortable sort of way. Kara grimaced and tried to move her hips so she could release some of the pressure on her cape, but she got nothing back. She sighed again, deep and sadly.

"I thought you were done being mad at me,” she offered and pursed her lips.

"And I thought you saw me as a villain. Why are you talking with me now?" She could feel that Lena was turning her head to look at her, but, just like she tried before, the woman didn’t have enough room to do it.

"Because we're stuck here together,” Kara’s sarcastic reply was pointed by her jingling their chains again before pressing both palms against the floor.

"It doesn't mean we need to talk,” the brunette replied. She didn’t sound annoyed, though, so Kara decided it was okay to keep talking.

"True, but you don't have to say a thing, I will do all the talk,” she smiled and moved the best she could to nudge Lena’s back playfully. She didn’t get a reaction back, so Kara took a deep breath while trying to organize her thoughts. She wished Lex wasn’t in a rush to kill them because she had so much to say. “You hurt my feelings."

Lena actually laughed at that. "So did you.”

"I know. Rao, Lena, I freaking know that,” Kara shook her head and closed her eyes tightly shut. “You made it very clear and I saw all the damage I inflicted by lying to you. And I already apologized for that and I was under the impression you forgave me." She opened her eyes again and tried to move her legs again.

"I just said I was sorry I helped Lex. I didn't say I was okay with your lies." Lena tried to move away from her, but the chains stopped her from going anywhere.

Selfishly, Kara was glad. In reality, she was mad at Lex for putting Lena through that.

"Okay, fine.” The blonde nodded a couple of times, absorbing the words. “I'm also not happy you worked with Lex, just so you know."

"I already knew that,” Lena replied with a possible eye-roll again. “You made it very clear when you invaded my house and told me you would start treating me like every other villain."

Not her best move, Kara would be the first to admit that. Lena helping Lex was also not the best idea, so she was calling it even.

"You hurt me because you didn't even hear what I had to say,” the heroine pointed with a slight rage on her voice. “You never gave a chance to explain why I did what I did. You never listened to me before going around acting crazy."

" _Don't_ call me crazy,” Lena snarled venomously and her sharp voice sent a shiver down Kara’s arms.

Not her best idea either, then. "Alright, I'm sorry. I'm just saying, you didn't give me a chance."

"And what chance did you gave me before deciding to lie to me for years?” The younger woman shot back angrily. “Years, Kara."

"I couldn't tell you!” Kara was quick to defend herself, going as far as sounding truly desperate now. “I was forbidden by the DEO, and J'onn, and Alex and everyone else to tell a single soul!"

"So why did everyone else knew? Why was I the only one left outside? So you could all have a good laugh behind my back?" Lena scoffed and shook her head.

Kara’s body moved out of instinct when she tried to turn around to face the other woman and they both hissed when the chains squeezed their arms enough to cause pain. "No! Of course not! I wanted to tell you, Lena, I swear, but I couldn't."

"Who else knows?" the woman demanded.

"What?" The superhero turned her body again so she could be released from the painful feeling of metal digging on her skin and frowned.

"Did Winn knew?"

Kara licked her lips once when she realized where that was going. "... Yes. He was the only person I told I'm Supergirl. I told him after I saved a plane from crashing. After that, my sister made me promise I wouldn't say that to anyone else, for my own protection."

"James?" Lena’s voice became much quieter and she sounded almost defeated.

Kara closed her eyes again and threw her head back, barely managing to avoid touching the other woman. "Yes, Clark told him."

"Holy fuck," the woman breathed out.

"Yep,” Kara nodded as her eyes open and she stared straight to a stain on her ceiling that could either be mold or blood, she couldn’t tell in the dark.

"Maggie?"

"She's a very good detective, found out by herself and confronted Alex about it. At first, she was jealous because she thought Alex and Supergirl were just too close to be co-workers or whatever, but then she realized it was me. She had a hell of a lot of papers to sign when they broke up.” She missed Maggie, she was fun to have around, and she was a badass.

"Nia and Brainy also know.” It wasn’t a question, even though Kara felt the urge to answer it anyway.

"Yes."

"Sam?"

"She was Reign, she almost killed me, so yes,” Kara sighed again, deciding she should stop the questioning there or they would be going round and round with that particular subject. “The only person I ever told was Winn... and Nia. But I promise everyone else just found out."

There was a small pause that made Kara’s skin crawl. "Except for me."

"To be fair, you're not the only person who gets tricked by the glasses."

Lena sneered loudly at that. "Not everyone else calls you their best friend. Or hear you say things like 'flew here on a bus'."

Kara’s soft chuckle filled the room. That was a funny memory, for sure. "I just want you to understand, Lena, that I would have told you if I could,” she declared gently. “But, the more people know, the dangerous it becomes. If my identity lands in the wrong person's lap, not only my life would be in line, you know.” She took a deep breath, staring down at her red boots. “Kara Danvers has a sister, and a mother, and a supposed human cousin with a human wife and a baby, and she has a job and friends. Supergirl has a cousin who is as indestructible as her and no one else. By telling people, I put everyone else in danger, that's why Alex made me promise not to tell anyone else."

Apparently, Lena had no fast argument against that because they remained a couple of minutes in silence. While she waited, Kara started to bump her feet together, watching her stretch out legs. She was almost whistling to occupy her time when Lena finally spoke.

"You could have thrust me."

"Yes, I could,” Kara admitted with a single nod. “And the reason I didn't wasn't because you're a Luthor, it was because I was scared. Your mother and your brother already knew about me, and you were my best friend, Lena. I was so scared they would do something to you because of me. Like right now, I suppose. This, you being held captive because of me, is my worse nightmare and it just became a reality.”

The chuckle that followed her words surprised her so much that Kara almost tried to turn around again. Rao, she hadn’t heard Lena laugh for so long! She forgot how good it sounded, how it warmed her heart and made her body tingle from head to toe.

"To be fair, my family already didn't like me before you, so I would probably end up like this either way,” the other woman taunted.

"Not funny,” Kara mumbled, clearly displeased, and frowned deeply.

"It's a little funny,” Lena shrugged and they stayed in silence for another minute. “Lex broke me when he told me about your secret identity, something he was trying to do since I was a kid. And he did it again by manipulating me while using your betrail as an excuse. As I said, I'm sorry about falling for his crap like that."

The heroine fidged with her fingers a little until she found a piece of the chain and hold on into it. "I was hurt at Jeremiah's funeral. I knew that you would know what to do if you were there."

"I'm not very good with words-"

"You're very good with me, words or not,” she interrupted quickly. “Everyone else tried, but they all said and did the wrong thing. Fudge, even when you didn't show up, you still did the right thing. That book was really good."

"I thought so." This time, she could hear a hint of a smile on Lena’s voice and she smiled to herself.

"I was visited by an imp."

"You _what_?"

Okay, she should be better at not blurting out words by now. How she managed to be friends with Lena for so long and not blurt out her secret is truly insane to her.

"He gave me the opportunity to fix things,” she explained, instead. “To go back in time and do things right with you."

"Oh."

"I saw four different outcomes. There was one I told you right after we meet, in your office, I just flew outside the window,” Kara closed her eyes again and allowed her mind to travel back to memory land. “You reacted the exact way I thought you would. You were happy I trusted you and we made a great team, a Luthor and a Super, working together.” A lazy smile made an appearance on her lips and it stayed there for a while before she remembers more and it got replaced by a grimace. “And then everyone died, which was not so great."

Lena took a large and very loudly intake of breath and her body tensed against the hero’s. "Why did they died?"

"I exposed my identity to save you. They went after my family and friends, they were all gone.” Kara finally let her body fell until she was leaning against Lena and she sighed again. “Then, there was one you find out after Reign and you were mad at me, quite like right now, and then I died because you weren't there to save me. There was one where you died in my arms, I had to watch you die right in front of me. After seeing all the damage, I started thinking it was better if we have never met and that was the worse thing ever."

"Why?" The brunette’s whispered question hang on air for a few minutes unanswered.

"Because you killed me."

This time, it was Lena who tried to turn around but neither of them reacted to the chains tightening on them. "I would never... It doesn't matter how mad or..."

"You did.” Kara let go of the chain she was grabbing into and her fingers started to feel around the concrete. “You had your reasons to do so, but you did. I guess that got me thinking. If there was a reality where you could have killed me, maybe there was a part of you in this world that would make you do the same. And you had been working with Lex, with whom I don't have the best background, and I freaked out.” How far away did they tie Lena up if they could lean on each other, really? “That was the night I flew to your apartment and said I was done apologizing. I was overwhelmed and scared. Scared I wouldn't be able to save you, that I would fail as I did in the other realities, that I would have to watch you die or something."

There! The tip of her fingers brushed against soft skin and she was barely able to hold back the celebratory scream that threatened to escape. Instead of rushing, Kara just let her index and middle finger to linger on top of Lena’s own hands and smiled to herself.

"That night, when you said those things, you hurt me again," Lena commented finally.

"I know,” the blonde leaned her head back so she could look at the suspicious stain on the ceiling again. “I could see in your eyes that I was making you sad. Just like when you showed up in my apartment last night. I never meant to make you sad, but I also can't say I would go back in time to change things, because I was given the opportunity to do so and refused it.” She lowered her voice so it was only loud enough for the other woman to hear her. “This is not the perfect outcome, but it is what happened. I have to learn to deal with the consequences, just like you will have to deal with the fact that you helped your brother with his evil plots and whatever comes from that."

"That's very mature," Lena scoffed.

"Got those from the book you gave me,” Kara chuckled and finally found the courage to curl her fingers around Lena’s. It was a weird angle, especially because she had to twist her wrist around to be able to pull out that move, but Lena didn’t push her away so it was worth it. “There is one thing I would change, though, and I wish I had to ask Mxy about it but I'm glad I didn't do it, because knowing what could have happened is way worse."

She could hear the hesitation coming from Lena in waves and Kara did the best to squeeze her fingers in what she hoped was a calming way. "What is it?"

"I wish I had realized I'm in love with you before it was too late." And here comes the blurt words again.

"I-You-What?" In her heist to turn around, Lena moved enough to make their fingers stop touching and Kara frowned at that.

"I don't know when that happened, when I fell in love with you. I can tell you when I realized that, but I can't say when it all started.” Kara also turned her head and they got almost in the right angle to be able to see each other’s face. She could see the tip of Lena’s nose and more of her head, but it wasn’t enough. “That's why losing you hurt me so bad. Rao, I cried myself to sleep more times than I can remember. I kept wishing I could go back and tell you earlier, even if now I know it would be way worse if I did, and I kept hating myself for hurting you when I was also hurt for pushing you away without telling how I truly felt about you."

"I-"

She needed to say everything before she lost courage, so Kara kept talking like Lena didn’t try to interrupt her. "I went on a couple of dates, just so you know. Do you remember William? Yes, well, he asked me out and I ended up telling him yes after everyone else told me I should. And, to be honest, I was running out of excuses not to go. He's a great guy, a little self-centered, but he's nice, and he's also a great cooker, and he's pretty, not so funny, but he's a great reporter.” That summarized William pretty well, right?

“The problem is that all the time I was with him, I kept thinking about you. How I would rather be at home eating potstickers with you. He's great and I'm sure any girl would be lucky to date him, but my heart is not his and it will never be. Maybe if you didn't exist, but that possibility is really painful to even think about." Maybe a little too dramatic? Whatever, she was going to all or nothing since they were going to die anyway.

"Kara-"

"And I get that I screw things up by not telling you who I am, for lying, for acting like I couldn't trust you. I get it, I promise you I do.” Her fingers started moving again because she really felt like she needed that grounding only Lena could provide her. “However, I didn't even know I'm in love with you until that day I flew to your house to give you those diaries. I was just outside, hovering by the window, and you were there, sitting on your couch, doing your stuff, looking so damn beautiful and all I could think was how much I wanted to curl by your side, drink some tea and watch a movie. And when you looked up and smiled at me,” a small loving smile turned her lips up, “Rao, Lena, I swear to any God that might exist in the Universe that when you smiled at me it all clicked and it was like 'oh' and I could finally breathe again."

"Kara, I-" Lena was starting to sound a little upset, probably because she hadn’t been able to talk for a while now.

"But things were already weird between us and I needed time to figure things out with myself, so I didn't say anything, and the next thing I knew you were yelling at me that you hate me."

"I never said I hate you," the brunette cut in quick.

"Yes, well, it was implied."

"I don't hate you, Kara,” Lena sighed. How far away did she move her hand? Kara couldn’t move her wrist anymore without breaking it or something.

"You have reasons to, it's okay."

"Will you let me-"

"Really, I get it. All I'm saying is-"

"The day Jack died."

Kara had no idea how Jack got inserted into that conversation. "What?"

"The day Jack died. That was the day I realized I love you.” Kara gasped and her body went completely stiff. “I loved Jack before, we were supposed to get married and all, but I was willing to let him die to save you. When I saw you there, lying on the ground, that's when I realized I loved you and fuck me because I didn't even know it was you _you_. And I probably fell in love with Kara Danvers that first day when you walked inside my office behind Mr. Kent. I thought... I thought you would never feel the same, so I pushed it to the back of my mind and kept acting like I was so happy for you and Mike, or Mon-El, or whatever.” Apparently, Lena was just as good in that fingers-hunting because the next thing Kara knew was that they had their hands linked again. “And I would be happy as long as you were happy. I guess we both kept secrets from each other."

"I don't blame you. If you had told me back then, I think I would probably freak out and refused to talk about it. I don't think I would have come to terms with my own feelings at the time."

"And, honestly, I think I would have been mad at you if you told me your secret at any moment that wasn't the first couple of months of our friendship."

Kara felt Lena nodding behind her and she copied the move. She leaned her head back until she found the curve of Lena’s shoulder, then she rested her head there and closed her eyes.

"We both fucked up," she declared.

"I don't think I ever heard you curse before." Lena also moved her head back until she was resting on the blonde’s shoulder too. Their cheeks were touching now and Kara smiled.

"Well, if I'm about to die, I guess I should say _everything_ I never did before."

"You do that," the other woman chuckled lowly.

There goes nothing. "I love you, Lena."

"... I love you too, Kara."

The complete relief she felt washing over her body was almost all she needed to gain her strength back and break the chains. She wished she could do exactly that, that she could turn around and pull Lena in her arms. "I wish we didn't have to be tied up and about to be killed to admit that, though."

"So do I. Every scenario I planned telling you this involved a much better place and setting,” Lena admitted.

"Well, every time I thought about telling you I'm Supergirl ended up with me ripping my shirt open to reveal the suit beneath it.” The heroine shrugged and moved her head to the side until she could see the lines of Lena’s face.

"I think I would have liked that." Lena’s body shook with a laugh and she also turned to look at her. It was weird and uncomfortable, for sure.

"It's a pretty suit."

"I wasn't talking about the suit."

"Oh,” Kara blinked a couple of times and Lena laughed again.

The brunette squeezed her fingers. "If we get out of this, do you think we will regret this conversation?"

"I won't. I meant every word I said,” Kara nudged her shoulder gently. “Thank you for listening to me this time."

"Sorry for not listening before.”

"Sorry for calling you a villain."

"Sorry for helping Lex."

"Sorry for not telling you I'm Supergirl."

"Sorry for not telling you I'm in love with you before we got locked up because you called me a villain after I refused to listen and after I worked with Lex because you didn't tell me you're Supergirl."

Kara laughed loudly at that. How much of a mess they had made? "I forgive you."

"You sure have a great heart. That's one of the things I love about you."

"Your brain, that's one of the reasons why I love you.” It was such a long list, to be real. Kara would spend a lot of time to go through all of it.

"Good, because we need to get out of this place.” Lena let go of her hand again and managed to tap her arm once before she pulled herself to sit straight again. “I refuse to die now that I know I could have been kissing you for, at least, a few months."

Kara also strengthened herself and her arms started pulling against the chains again, even if she knew she couldn’t break it until the kryptonite wore off.

"Stronger together, right?" she asked with a smirk.

"Weaker apart,” Lena added with a smirk of her own. “Let's do this."

**Author's Note:**

> Kara: I love you  
> Lena: Oh, thank God, it took you a fucking while to realize that  
> Kara: ... You literally haven't spoken with me for months now  
> Lena: Your point?


End file.
